By Matthew E. Milliken
Feb. 4, 2016
I had occasion to think of that tweet Wednesday afternoon thanks to yet another fashion misadventure.
Let me explain. I own, and have at my home in Durham, a white button-down shirt suitable for most business contexts and an off-white button-down shirt suitable for many business contexts. I rarely wear either of them.
On Wednesday, however, I anticipated doing some work on a freelance marketing project. I therefore decided to wear something appropriate for an office, even though I wouldn’t physically be visiting one.
I went to a coffee shop and set about doing things, even though I hadn’t been sent the material that I needed to do the freelance project. At some point, I grew hungry.
I went back to the counter to request a refill of my hot water and to purchase a slice of chocolate cake. The cake looked luscious. Indeed, it proved to be moist and delicious.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite as attentive as I needed to be as I consumed the treat with my dinky plastic fork. A bit of frosting fell onto my right collar. When I attempted to remove it, I ended up leaving a rather prominent smudge on the off-white shirt.
This was relatively early in the afternoon. I sighed; since I was unwilling to return home to change my shirt, and since I did not want to fuss around with attempting to wash my shirt in a bathroom sink, I had condemned myself to walking around in soiled clothing.
It looked like this:
Alas, alack, woe is me.
Oh, well. I suppose I’ll live.